![]() We do not know what will happen today, much less the rest of the week or month. We cannot predict the future with any kind of certainty, and the idea that we can plan based on these shaky predictions is a nice fiction, but a fiction nonetheless. ![]() Now consider this: we have absolutely no idea if any of this is true. This is my idea of what this day will hold. If I get these things done, life will be good. We are saying: this is what I’m going to do today. The Case for ChaosĬonsider what we’re doing when we plan our day, our week, our year: we are trying to exert control over life, and predict with our plans the course our lives will take today, this week, this year. Let go of productivity and be open to new ideas, new opportunities, spontaneous creativity. Let go of planning and embrace not know what will happen. Let go of control and allow yourself to be swept away by the powerful currents of life. It will yield some unpredictable results, but if you approach it the right way, it could bring some of the most amazing work of your life, along with freedom, joy, exhilaration. I’m going to share a productivity, planning and organizational hack that will change your life. And then you’ll see the beauty that was there all the time.‘You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.’ ~Friedrich Nietzsche Post written by Leo Babauta. One practice at a time, one moment at a time, you’ll become better at mindfulness in the midst of chaotic family gatherings. ![]() You can’t do these all at once, but take one of the practices and work with it for a little bit, then try another. We just need to turn our attention to how things are, notice what’s there, see the beauty in that, appreciate it. But things are pretty amazing just as they are, without being different. Things are stressful because we wish they were different. Now do it when you are talking with someone. When you’re pouring your coffee, make this action and this moment everything. ![]() Practice being happy no matter what happens. Practice letting go and letting things happen. Of course, we don’t really have control - we just think we do, or want to have control. Stress often comes because we want to control how things go. Did you really expect that thought? Can you predict the next one? What thoughts are coming up? Are these thoughts you, or just things that come up, like a passing cloud? Be an impartial observer, watching your thoughts come up from some hidden well. Empathize with the person, imagine what it’s like to be them, feel what they’re trying to communicate. Practice listening without judgment, without thinking about what you’re going to say next. This is something we don’t often do with 100% attention. Sometimes what people need is for you to just listen. Ask: What does this person need? Instead of thinking about what you want, practice asking what the other person needs.Notice that you’re focused on yourself and your wants. It’s important to notice this, when these feelings arise. When people frustrate or irritate us, it’s often because we are focused on what we want, how we think we should be treated, how we want everyone else to act, how the world should be. This is a centering practice that brings you back to the present. And follow your breath a couple of times. Check in with your body and breath: In the middle of things happening, take a few seconds to turn your attention to your posture, how your body is feeling, whether you’ve been sitting too long, etc.What and how can you practice? Try one of these practices at a time, when Uncle Rob is telling one of his boring stories: But just like target practice isn’t the same as actual combat, the zazen cushion is not the same as being in the middle of crazy family gatherings. It might seem like the best training ground for mindfulness is a peaceful Zen temple … and in many ways, it is. Here’s what I suggest: use family gatherings for mindfulness training. Recently a reader asked me to write about “dealing with the emotional difficulties/potential conflict of joining family at the holidays and keeping your energy sustained, positive, without ‘faking it’.” This is the time of year when many families come together, for extended gatherings or just a get-together or three.Īnd as wonderful as that may be, it can be a trying time for many, for lots of reasons: old conflicts coming up, painful emotional patterns, people criticizing you, lots of people coming together to make for stressful chaos, loss of control of your daily routine, party planning and preparations adding stress, and more.
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